’How They Really Stand,’ from Falcons to Dream remains

Several years ago, as my answer to every reader who stops me in the produce section to ask, “What do you think of my (insert lousy team) this season?” I created an unofficial ranking of major pro and college sports teams in the Atlanta/Athens area. I call this, “How They Really Stand,” because I thought it made this completely subjective and occasionally even accurate exercise sound superior to at least a series of coin flips.

“How They Really Stand” factors in wins, losses, ownership, front office, coaching, personnel, direction and whatever prompted somebody in the office to think, “Dwight Howard will help us sell tickets!” A lot of film work goes into this. Just the other day, I caught up on back episodes of “Walking Dead.”

As always, you are welcome to disagree with these rankings. But you would be wrong. (Previous ranking in parenthesis.)

1. Falcons (5): Ilsa to Rick in "Casablanca": "We'll always have Paris." Kyle Shanahan to Atlanta in the Super Bowl: "We'll always have the first three quarters." How long will this hangover last? I'm thinking apocalypse. But there's this: The Falcons are still really good and seemingly set up for more title runs. Until then, there are Tums.

2: Former Hawks (new): Kyle Korver plays for the No. 1 team in the Eastern Conference (Cleveland). Al Horford plays for the No. 2 team (Boston). DeMarre Carroll plays for the No. 4 team that could soon be the No. 3 team (Toront0). I bring this up as a counter-argument for all those who say Hawks won't go deep into the playoffs.

3. Georgia football (4): Kirby Smart made mistakes in his first season as a head coach. That doesn't mean he will not be a good head coach, or that Georgia made a mistake in hiring him and firing Mark Richt. These are things that occasionally must be typed out as reminders for spasmodic fans who are prone to public meltdowns every seven minutes on Twitter, call-in radio shows and sometimes the state legislature.

4. Georgia Tech football (6): Sometimes I think Paul Johnson intentionally has a bad loss or season just so he can punch his fist through the dirt, up from the grave, like Carrie and scream, "A-ha! Not dead!" The Jackets went from 3-9 to 9-4 last season. Johnson greeted Smart the same way he greeted Richt — with a win in Athens. The cackle is back.

5. Atlanta United (new): It hasn't played a game yet. But three things that generally lead to success are in place: impressive management, player-development system and financial commitment from ownership. Also, they've sold 30,000 season tickets. That puts the soccer team ahead of the Braves and Hawks. Only Tom Brady can screw this up.

6. This Space For Lease (1): Nobody was worthy of No. 1 last time. This year, I just felt I needed an artificial dividing line between, well, neighborhoods.

7. Braves (13): They've stopped going backward. The lineup should be decent this season, assuming Matt Kemp doesn't turn back into Matt Kemp. But the pitching prospects are still prospects, the bullpen is suspect and the hope-and-pray factor seems heavy with this starting rotation. But enjoy the new stadium. If you can get there.

8. Georgia State basketball (3): I don't know if we'll have the magic of Ron Hunter falling-off-his-chair again but, hey, the coach is proving he can win without his son (11-6 in the Sun Belt entering the weekend). The Panthers may regularly be in the hunt for the conference title and, therefore, an NCAA bid.

9. Georgia Tech basketball (12): In a conference with Mike Krzyzewski, Roy Williams, Rick Pitino, Jim Boeheim, Mike Brey and Jim Larranaga, nobody has done a better coaching job this season than Josh Pastner. Meanwhile, imagine the reaction in Memphis if Pastner makes it to the NCAA tournament and Tubby Smith doesn't.

10. Georgia basketball (10): Yante Maten got hurt and coach Mark Fox has held the Bulldogs together. So, point for him. But that shouldn't overshadow that this was considered an NCAA tournament team before the season, and now Georgia will have to make some noise in the SEC tournament to be considered.

11. Kennesaw State football (7): It's hard not to be impressed by the job coach Brian Bohannon is doing with a startup program (6-5 and 8-3 in the first two seasons). One publication ranked KSU's recruiting class 1oth among FCS schools. Yes, recruiting rankings give me hives. But ranking 10th out of 124 must mean something.

12. Hawks (2): Much has happened since the organization's 15 minutes of fame as Atlanta's pro sports darlings. The Hawks aren't awful. But they don't inspire much confidence for the future. Ball movement is gone from the offense. Parts are gone. A new big-picture guy is needed. Mike Budenholzer needs to coach — and just coach. This next offseason will be the biggest test yet of majority owner Tony Ressler's tenure.

13. Kennesaw State basketball (14): Coach Al Skinner has brought some stability to a program that only three years ago went 6-25. The Owls this season: 14-18 and 7-7 in the A-Sun. So nobody's covering their face anymore.

14. Georgia State football: Turner Field could turn out to be a nice new home for the Panthers. But will new coach Shawn Elliott advance this program any more than Trent Miles — and will enough students even care?

15. Atlanta Gladiators (8): The city's lone surviving pucksters made the ECHL playoffs in its first six seasons, including a run to the finals. But the Glads are on the verge of missing the postseason for the sixth time in seven years. There must be a way to blame this on Don Waddell.

16. 30-second timeout: Need to catch my breath.

17. Atlanta Dream (9): Angel McCoughtry, the Dream's leading scorer seven consecutive seasons, is taking the year off. Why? Because she's tired. I get that WNBA players also play overseas and it's a grind, but if this is becoming a thing, the league is in even more trouble than I thought. Quoting her: "This decision will allow me to come back and play to the best of my ability, and it is my hope that this decision ultimately will benefit the Atlanta Dream long-term." She has a future as a corporate weasel writing, "Why we have to lay you off," emails.